Wow...First, she shouldn't have been going through your laptop; that's an invasion of your privacy. She doesn't respect boundaries. Second, you're a writer and have to network. For her to be pissy because you talk to other women is lame on her part.

But yeah, if I saw a three-hour video of you drinking that much, masturbating that much, smoking that much marijuana, vaping that much, and eating that much, I'd have told you it wasn't going to work out, too. It wouldn't have been that I disliked you; it would have been that the sum total of the real you that I observed was a turn-off.

Which, thinking about it, would be lame on my part. Three hours of the real you isn't the sum total of what you are; it's just three hours of one day. There are 21 more hours in a day and many, many more in the rest of your life.

But it would cause me to think, Do I really want to live with this person? Because I can extrapolate that he probably does these things a lot, even if they aren't all he is, so he's not going to change to suit me, nor should he. Being in a relationship and expecting your partner to change is madness.

Bottom line, you're much better off without her.

As to whether you're numbing out, that's up to you to decide.